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The day I ate a ring of shrimp for dinner or how to get things done when you’re grumpy

Sometimes, you just have to eat a ring of shrimp.

Sometimes, you just have to eat a ring of shrimp. All of it.

There’s this horrible thing called Blue Monday that allegedly happens at some point every January.

On Blue Monday, we all feel crummy about going back to work after gorging ourselves on booze and cheese for a month while spending indiscriminately on ourselves and those we loved. I deleted an email about Blue Monday at the start of the week, but somehow that didn’t stop me from catching the next day.

The Guardian calls the whole Blue Monday thing a load of rubbish (that’s British for bullshit) first created by a travel company and then exacerbated by a UK protein drink company this year using a meritless Twitter-barometer.

Fine. It’s not scientific. Not even a little bit.

But it remains that I am sluggish in sloughing off the remnants of holidaying on this Blue Tuesday. I can’t quite shake the cobwebs from my head (they’re insistent on sleeping in at least until the sun deigns to rise and they despise focusing on important tasks). I haven’t figured out how to pass a debilitating blockage known as the grumps. And I’m reluctant to clear out the fuzzy condiments from my fridge in order to replace them with the fruits and vegetables and chia seeds other fibres that would be useful in shedding the polar bear vortex around my midsection. (Doing so would require changing the garbage and it smells funny so I don’t want to deal with it right now.)

Let’s not even address the trepidation that fills me when I consider physical activity.

I also know that sitting around complaining about it does no good at all. I know because lazing around hasn’t helped me book a ticket out of the doldrums yet.

What works is, instead of clicking between Facebook and Twitter, mindlessly scrolling through the curious and the mundane (let’s not bother to say whether it’s the former or the latter that shows up more often on which social network), that I actually sit down and work. 

I wasn’t very good at it. In fact, it’s taken me until 9:14 p.m. to get things really complete for the day. This is thanks to mindless Buzzfeed breaks, and trips to half-amusing/half-depressing Tumblrs, and a concerned phonecall to HealthLink over how to get a flu shot without my Alberta Health Card after the province got ahold of the “last vaccine on the planet” (now we’re all queue-jumpers!).

But I always came back to my chair at my newly cleaned desk (tidying being a great task for the perpetual procrastinator) and typed a little bit more. Replied to one more email. Practiced exporting files into eBooks. And got to the end of a 1-hour and 45-minute interview tape that yielded 8,779 words.

And in the midst of it all, I ate a whole ring of shrimp. Goals accomplished.

Getting to the end ain't always pretty. But when you get there, it sure feels beautiful.

Getting to the end ain’t always pretty. But when you get there, it sure feels beautiful.

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